Suicide Deserves No Shame

Photo by Rick Wilcoxson.

I looked into the eyes of 900 souls, almost all of whom had suffered the passing of at least one child.

Jeff Olsen and I addressed the Helping Parents Heal Conference together. We’d discussed our presentation. I knew what I’d planned to say, but unseen souls had other ideas.

Halfway through our presentation, a powerful prompting moved me. I said, “I know this is a tender subject, but I feel compelled to talk for a minute about suicide.”

A hush fell over the room. Words and sentences flowed through me as I labored to dispel an undeserved stigma.

Suicide is a manifestation of illness. People don’t take their lives; their illness does, just like cancer or heart disease. Suicide is, by definition, the act of a soul who is, in that moment, not capable of accountability. And certainly, from a religious perspective, no one who is incapable of accountably can commit sin. Suicide victims and their families deserve no shame, blame, embarrassment, or apologies, and they owe no one any further explanation.

My words were interrupted by a standing ovation.

More than 100 people, mostly parents of children who had died by suicide, approached me over the next two days and thanked me for articulating what they’d felt and known. Whatever I’d planned to say was insignificant compared to what Spirit spoke through me.

On the last day of the conference, a trusted friend put her hand on my shoulder and said, “While you were talking about suicide, I saw hundreds of children standing behind you, tapping you on the shoulder.”

I know where those nudges came from. And I know souls who transition by suicide are welcomed through the veil with the same infinite light and love as any other. Never blame yourself. Never be ashamed.