I sat in a meeting listening to adults talk about how to help young people reach their goals. The conversation soon evolved into helping those young people realize what their goals should be.

I was about 40 years old at the time, and soon found myself thinking about my childhood and how I was told repeatedly I should become an Eagle Scout.

As the meeting progressed, I found myself reviewing a few of my life’s milestones. I’d served a mission in a foreign country for two years. I’d finished college and medical training and served as the chairman of emergency medicine at a major trauma center. I’d became a husband and father and loved my wife and kids. I’d served in many positions in my community and my church. I’d written and published original research.

And then I had this thought: Maybe it’s okay I didn’t become an Eagle Scout.

I hadn’t realized until that moment how deeply someone else’s goal had been imprinted on my psyche and self-worth. For all those years, I’d felt less because I’d failed to reach someone else’s goal.

Your worth doesn’t depend on reaching someone else’s goal or even your own. Your worth is already infinite and unchanging. It doesn’t increase or decrease based on what you do.

If you help others set goals, make sure they know their infinite worth does not change, and make sure you help them set their goals not yours.