“I didn’t see anybody, I just knew he was there,” Laura said. “I didn’t hear his voice or anything like that.”

Laura was responding to my question about whether she’d received messages from her deceased son.

People often diminish their experiences by telling me what they didn’t experience rather than what they did. The exchanges often go like this:

“I understand you didn’t see anyone,” I say, “but you knew it was your son?”

“Definitely. I recognized his presence.”

“What did you feel?”

“Absolute love.”

“You felt his love?”

“Yes. I know it was him.”

“Was he okay?”

“I know he’s happy.”

“Was it comforting?”

By that point, they’re often too emotional to speak. They respond with a tearful nod instead. They clearly got the message. It just didn’t come as they’d expected.

You don’t have to see or hear to communicate with loved ones on the other side. Their messages are purer and more efficient than our language.

Because we are confined mostly to words, I suggested Laura say it this way next time: “My son loved me so much he came to me. He expressed his love, comforted me, and communicated that he was happy.”

Trust what you feel and what you know. That is the message.