I travel and share the stage with friends who’ve been resuscitated from death. Many had encounters with the Divine while clinically dead and felt an absence of judgement for their missteps in this realm.

I’ve been surprised how many listeners insist there must be a judgment, not so much for themselves but for others. Invariably, someone in the group will ask, “What about So-&-So?”

They don’t say So-&-So, of course. Rather, they use the name of the most despicable person they can think of—a mass murderer, a child abuser, a terrorist—someone they view as deserving of divine punishment. Insert whatever name works for you.

The question troubled me until I received an unexpected insight. I realized their query had nothing to do with So-&-So. They were actually asking, “How bad does someone have to be before it’s okay to hate them? I know I should love everyone, but surely that doesn’t include So-&-So, right?”

Who is your So-&-So? Who do you feel most justified in hating, or at least, not loving? We would all do well to extend the same grace and mercy to others that we desire for ourselves.

Never choose whom to love.